How to Be a Confident Proverbs 31 Woman {Bible Study}

Your lack of confidence is deeper than just being insecure, comparing yourself to others, or minimizing your gifts and has much more to do with your faith than you might think. If you desire to develop the courage to boldly become the woman God created you to be, stay tuned because today we’re taking a closer look at the Proverbs 31 Woman to learn the one question to ask yourself to overcome the challenges stopping you from becoming your most confident self. Enjoy!

Most tips on building confidence give you a to-do list: exercise, dress nicely, be aware of your body language, and talk with a certain tone. But what if our lack of confidence is deeper than just changing our habits? A National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, commissioned by the Dove® SelfEsteem Fund, showed that 68% of girls reported feeling insecure and not sure of themselves, and the statistics on low self-esteem only increase in girls as they get older. We have a self-esteem crisis among girls, and if it’s not addressed, that lack of confidence follows a girl into womanhood. Maybe that’s your story, and the idea of being a confident woman feels out of reach because making yourself small, comparing yourself to others, and doubting your gifts and purpose has become second nature. But it doesn’t have to be. 

In this video, you’ll learn:

  • 👑 Why it’s particularly challenging for Christian women to be confident. 
  • 🛑 What’s really stopping you from embracing who God made you.
  • 💜 2 practical steps we can learn from the Proverbs 31 woman to boldly walk in confidence, when we ask ourselves this ONE question.


But first, let’s discuss what it really means to be confident. Confidence is the belief in someone or something. It’s being certain of it in a realistic and sure way.  It’s not prideful, but truthful and honest. It’s a conviction about how you are or your belief in something. 


This makes it particularly challenging for Christian women to embrace a lifestyle of confidence because we sometimes confuse confidence with pride and can mistake humility with low self esteem. Although as Christian women, we are called to be humble and serve others, that does not mean we’re not called to lack confidence and boldness. A truly confident woman isn't prideful, because pride says, ‘I'm great apart from God.’ Pride says ‘I'm greater than I really am.’ Pride is not fully aligned with the truth of God because it says ‘I don't need God.’ However, as Christian women, we embrace the truth that without God, we can't do anything, but if we stop there, we forget that with God, there's nothing we can't do. That truth should be the root of all the confidence we have; that God is with us, that He's for us,and that He's in us. When we trust and believe that, it eliminates all of the obstacles stopping us from boldly becoming the confident women God is calling us to be. 


When we trust God and who He made us, we don't have to compare ourselves to other people. When we trust God and who he made us, we can boldly share our gifts with the world, because we know that they came from God, and He doesn't make mistakes. When we trust God, we don't have to be a people pleaser, because we know that God is pleased with us, despite what others may think about us. 

A true surrender and trust to God eliminates pride, but gives us all the more reason to be confident women and if there is anything that we need more of in this world, it's confident Christian women who are not afraid to share God's truth. Who are not intimidated to live Holy lives. Who are not hesitant to let their light shine in a dark world that desperately needs the light of Christ.

That's what true confidence looks like for a Christian woman, but it’s our misunderstanding of God and what He requires of us as women that has prevented us from being confident. But when we understand what true confidence really is, and we understand the God that is with us, and we believe in Him, and we have what our sister Marshawn Daniels calls, Godfidence, we will be unstoppable.


So how do we walk in that confidence? To answer that question today, I want us to look at the Proverbs 31 woman, because when I think about confident women in the Bible, she is certainly one of them. 

Proverbs 31, verses 10-31 specifically, detail the advice a King has received from his mother on what to look for in a queen. So the Proverbs 31 woman was not an actual historical person, but gives biblical wisdom on what it looks like to be a Godly woman. You can check out my Bible study series, “Worth More Than Rubies,'' to learn the 7 virtues of a Proverbs 31 woman in the Beloved Women app (link below). The Proverbs 31 chapter outlines a lot of the things she does that we would consider confident. She does good to her husband, she rises early, she dresses and strengthens herself, she gives and creates, speaks with wisdom and kindness. She takes care of her children and home, and most importantly, she’s devoted to God. 

I encourage you to read the entire chapter of Proverbs 31, but for today, there are two verses I want to share with you that can drastically uplevel your confidence. Verses 21 and 25 read:

“She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.” (Proverbs 31:21; 25 ESV)

Out of all the things she does, two that we need to focus on today are her fearlessness and laughter. The reason she’s not afraid of snow or unfavorable circumstances is for two reasons. One, she’s prepared her household as mush as she can, and two, she trusts God with what she can’t control.

If it snows, she is not afraid because she has already done what she can do to prepare her household. But when it comes to the things that she can’t control, like the future (or what today’s verse calls the days to come), she laughs because she knows that what she can’t control, God can. What does this have to do with confidence? 

Our lack of confidence is rooted in fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of being misunderstood, fear of not being good enough, or accepted. The truth is, a lot of the things we fear that choke out any confidence we may have, are things we can’t control anyways. When we try to control what we can’t, we set ourselves up for failure and that further fuels any lack of confidence we may have. Instead, we need to ask ourselves, can I control this? 

If the answer is yes, then like the Proverbs 31 woman, we make the necessary preparations to do what we need to do. If the answer is no, we trust God with it and place our confidence in Him.

Regardless of whatever you are facing: a relationship, a new business, a midterm exam, if you want to approach it confidently, you need to ask yourself: what is and is not in my control? Asking this simple question and responding to the answer appropriately will help you to truly walk in confidence. 

Some things we can control, but we don’t and our inactivity is feeding our lack of confidence. If you want longer hair, girl, you can buy some. 

If you want to make more money, you can start a business and make a plan. 

If you want to be more healthy, you can start exercising and change what you eat.

If you want to learn something new, you have the World Wide Web at your fingertips to gain the knowledge on anything you want from how to cook Lasagna to how to start a YouTube channel. 

Often, we have more power than we think and if we start to move on what we can control, we’ll often realize we don’t have to stay stuck in a lot of ways. 

On the other hand, we get discouraged when we try to change things we can’t control, which leads us to often just give up altogether. 

  • You can get longer hair, but you can’t make someone love you.
  • You can start a business, but you can’t change if the economy is up or down.
  • You can eat healthy and exercise, but you can’t control how fast those changes take to show.

So what do we do with what we can’t control? We trust God with it.

Part of confidence is trusting what God can do through us, and the other part is trusting what God can do despite us. 

So how do we become confident women in Christ? We trust God with what we can do, and we trust Him with what we can’t. 

As we grow to a place where we truly believe God is working all things together for us, no matter what it looks like, when we trust that God is for us, when we know nothing can separate us from His love, we will walk in a confidence that will rival the worlds and one of the most beautiful things about boldly walking in confidence, is that when you do, you invite more women to do the same. So, I invite you to watch this video on Esther to learn how to develop the confidence of a Queen.

For more encouragement, download my free Bible Study called “Worry-Free” to learn the 3 lies feeding your worry and the truth to set you free at Thanks for watching and until next time, be beautiful, be blessed, and beloved.