4 Ways to Better Your Marriage in 20 Seconds

4 Ways to Better Your Marriage in 20 Seconds

Hello Beloved! I'm giving you 4 practical ways to improve the quality of your marriage in 20 seconds. Enjoy! 


Before I got married I had the opportunity to live with my Aunt and Uncle for a few months. It was such a blessing to watch them and learn from another couple who had been married for 25+ years. One thing my Aunt told me was that the first 20 seconds of reconnecting when you get home from work are crucial. Now, with 8+ years of marriage under my belt I can say this is the truth. Those first few seconds have the power to direct the course of your entire evening together. And since that time goes by so fast before the next day begins it is important to make the most of it.

However, after a hard day of work, traffic, a long commute, stress from the boss, attitudes from coworkers, being at home with the kids all day and a never ending to-do list those first 20 seconds are more challenging than they may seem. Still, that short amount of time over the years can add up to equal the quality of marriage you experience. So it is worth the time, effort and energy to make those first few seconds count. Here's how:

1) Smile: Your spouse is not your boss who is getting on your nerves, they are not your child who has exhausted all of your patience, they are not your lazy co-worker or the person who cut you off while on your way home. They are the only person you made a vow to love, honor and respect before God. So it's best not to take your feelings out on your spouse. It's not fair and they do not deserve that. A simple smile is a small act of kindness that can go a long way. It's a gentle reminder that no matter how hard your day was it does not overshadow the love you have for your spouse and the honor you want to give God through your marriage.

2) Physical Touch. A full on make out session is not necessary but physical touch in the form of a peck on the cheek, forehead or hug is a good way to reinforce the unity between the two of you. It's a good reminder that you are in this together and you are not alone. It says I'm here with you, I see you and we are on the same team.

3) Communicate. Keep this simple too. Ask how your spouse is doing and tell them how you are. Be honest. Do you need some time to yourself? Not ready to talk? Tell them. Don't expect your spouse to know what type of day you had and then for them to automatically know how to respond. You are going to need to communicate even if it is a few words said in love.

4) Pray. These tips may seem simple enough but on the really challenging days they may feel near impossible. I encourage you to pray for God's strength for both you and your spouse. Jesus reminds us: "What is impossible with man is possible with God." (Luke 18:27 NIV)

Now I want to hear from you. What things have you done or do now that has helped your marriage the most. Let's encourage one another in the comments.